Multiple Me

Here’s something a little silly for your Saturday night…

Have you ever taken one of those quizzes to identify aspects of your personality? I will admit that I have taken a few… Okay, more than a few… Alright, alright, I have taken a lot!

Recently, I decided to “analyze” the results of these myriad quizzes to create a composite of whom I allegedly am.  What I have discovered is that I obviously suffer from a split personality. Don’t believe me?  Well, let’s see…

First, because of my love of teenage/young adult fantasy and/or dystopian books/movies, I decided to take three quizzes based on some of my favorite series: The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins, the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien.

According to these quizzes, I am Katniss Everdeen, Albus Dumbledore, and a Middle-earth elf.  I guess that makes me an intelligent, independent, determined, powerful, loyal loner who might be a bit arrogant at times.  Okay, I can work with that.

I especially like that these characters use a bow or a wand with immense skill. When it comes to archery, I once could “shoot a tick off a coonhound’s $@#.” Granted, I have never been afforded the opportunity to use a wand, but I am pretty sure that I would be down with that. Where is an Ollivanders’ when you need one?

And immortality? Sorry, I still haven’t figured out how to live forever. However, if I do learn the secret to eternal life, at least I won’t have all the aches and pains, pops and creaks that come with getting older.

Next up are superheroes, which I can honestly say, I am NOT. Regardless, let’s learn all about my Marvel alter-egos…

According to the Avengers quiz, I am Captain America: a loyal idealist who fights for what is right. Oh, and I am obviously clueless about current pop culture. (Sadly, this is true.)

So, what about the X-Men quiz? Which mutant am I, you might ask? Jean Grey, it seems! Although I love her intellect and powers of deduction, I don’t believe that I have a seriously nasty dark side. However, if you ask my family, I am sure they will tell you about the times that I have gone berserk. Hey, at least I haven’t burned down the house like Phoenix has. Before I do, let’s move on…

Naturally, because I am both a Star Wars fan and a Trekkie, I had to take these quizzes.

According to the Star Wars quiz, I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, a teacher whose calm in the face of crises is the stuff of legends. Now, although much of what I do can be classified as teaching, I cannot, in all honesty, claim Obi-Wan’s zen-like composure. Just ask my kids: I have had my share of conniptions. Where’s the force when you need it?

Now, according to the Star Trek quizzes, I am Uhura or Guinan—smart, outspoken, self-assured, and trustworthy communicators. Although I know I could not tolerate the shenanigans of Captain James T. Kirk for long, I would gladly be the confidant of that classy Captain Jean Luc Picard.  And, if I can look that young at 70 as Guinan does at 700, more the better!

Enough with the fantasy/comic book/sci-fi genres, now it is time to enter the realm of fairy tales and embrace my inner princess.

First, I took the Once Upon a Time quiz to ascertain which character I am most like. Turns out that I am most similar to Snow. Although I am not a hopeless romantic like she is, I do admire Snow’s independent attitude and willingness to fight for the ones she loves. I especially like that most of her fighting is done with a bow. (See a common theme there?) The quiz advised me that, like Snow, I take on too much by myself and should let others help. Easier said than done. Unlike Storybrooke, in my small-town U.S.A., it is just easier to do-it-yourself than to ask for help (especially when the people I am asking are my kids.)

One fairy tale quiz is done, one to go: the Princess Bride. Again, I am the princess. Bow to royalty, ye lowly peasants. (You can stop laughing now…Seriously, stop!) This time I am Buttercup, a romantic realist (much better than a hopeless romantic, in my opinion) with a sharp tongue and strong will who is willing to stand up for her beliefs. Sounds about right. However, unlike Buttercup, I find it difficult to trust others. For heaven’s sake, Buttercup, open your eyes and see: Prince Humperdinck is NOT a nice person… not at all!

Enough on the clueless Buttercup…The final stop on our tour takes us back to the time of innocence with a few characters of my favorite childhood books/movies: Winnie the Pooh, The Adventures of Pinocchio, and Alice in Wonderland.

The mother-figure of Winnie the Pooh is Kanga, the voice of sanity and safety. I “get” Kanga, especially since parenthood. In fact, I have been known to dote upon and embrace my children in front of their friends, much to their consternation and embarrassment. “Love you, honey!”  “Mom, shhhh!”

Another voice of reason is Jiminy Cricket. Although I value Jiminy’s wisdom and pleasantness, his moral righteousness does grate on my nerves just a bit. Perhaps that is because I have been known to display some of this same attitude, especially when dealing with my progeny. No wonder my kids just roll their eyes when I launch into a lecture.

Finally, as per the findings of the Alice in Wonderland quiz, I am the Caterpillar. I love, love, love this character! This loquacious lepidopteran larva has impeccable locution. Of course, using words like “loquacious lepidopteran larvae” instead of “talkative caterpillar” might sound a trifle condescending. Sorry about that.  I guess I have that character flaw in common with the Caterpillar. However, one characteristic that I do NOT share with the Caterpillar is a hankering for the hookah. “Just say no” has always been my motto. Maybe that is why I am not as mellow as he is.  Hmmm…

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